Warcraft movie map

Warcraft Movie Strategy Guide

Someone posted a review on the movie at the pop culture blog Forbes. In it, the "clever" blogger mentioned the movie needed a strategy guide. His mom probably thought that was clever. In case he was right and not just dumb, here's a run down of the characters.

Note: I haven't seen the movie, but I imagine the ratio of suck will directly correspond to the amount of time they spend on the human characters. Fuck the Alliance. 

I recommend watching the trailer first:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Rxoz13Bthc

The movie is essentially: Orcs leave their home world and invade the human world.

This is Draenor. It’s the homeworld of the Orcs and a race called the Draenei. It’s doomed. The Orcs need to find a new home.

There are three main Orc clans in this movie. They are all united and form an army called “The Horde”. Individually, the clan leaders are:

Here’s a video about Durotan: https://youtu.be/J7VT7NG7e38?t=47s

The clans are united by an Orc named Gul’dan. He opens a portal to the human world.

He’s obviously the bad guy. He’s working for an all-powerful demon (which you probably won't see in this movie).

The human world is called Azeroth.

In addition to humans, elves and dwarves live here. Eventually, these wussy races form “the Alliance”. The Alliance is dumb.

Stormwind is the capital of the humans.

Humans are pansies.

 He's in charge of the human army. He likes ponies and flowers and hugs. 

This is Karazhan. The most powerful wizard on Azeroth lives there. His name is Medivh.

This is Medivh. Yes, he's a fruity human BUT he has a demonic secret.

This is Khadgar, the apprentice of Medivh. Lame.

Some additional characters:

This is Ogrim Doomhammer. He’s Durotan’s bro. Ogrim is a member of the Blackrock clan.

This is Garona. She’s half Orc, half Draenei. Draenei eventually join the Alliance, so she’s half-cool.

Durotan, leader of the Frostwolf Clan (and the hero of the movie)

He grows up to be the new leader of the Horde.

There might be mention of a child named “Arthas”. He’s the son of a human king. He’s the only human worth knowing anything about. https://youtu.be/95vcgv-pK_4

He was the primary villain in the best World of Warcraft expansion. Due to the success of that expansion, WoW would gather over 12 million players! One of the leads who worked on that expansion left to work on another title. Unfortunately, he left a dbag in charge. That dbag, who is responsible for wacky gag-characters like Haris Pilton, helped tank the game. 

Hopefully Tigole comes back and the new WoW expansion doesn't suck.

Fuck the Alliance, For the Horde!